Stories

"My Friend Saved Me"  |  "Is It My Time?"  |  "I."

The following story is from Ken Scobey, who now is an adult who works with adolescents. His story is unusual because he attempted suicide 3 times and survived. Most of the time this does NOT happen. If you feel like Ken did in the first part of his story, you need help now! Call one or more of the crisis hotlines listed on this website. Find Help!

Is it my Time?

As I look into the barrel of a gun, I ask Jesus if it is my time?

Can all the stress my mother has caused me by using drugs and not caring about me be gone?

Will the pressure to be great in sports and popular in school get off my back?

I have to move again and try to fit in?

Will the girls like me?

Even if I do fit in at school, I am a nobody to my family?

Family what family?

A Dad who I don't know. A mother to high on drugs or drunk to care where or who I am.

I have not talked to coaches, teachers, counselors or even friends but I expect them to listen?

I find myself telling people how to remember me and how I want my funeral.

People will then understand what a rough life I live and am feeling depressed.

Will Jesus ever forgive me?

I am crying for help and feel I have nothing to look forward to and nobody to care!

So is it my time? No it is not!

I have asked god and tried to take my own life and it is just not working.

I jumped in front of a car and some how felt no pain?

I over dosed on medications in front on my mother thinking it was the easiest way and she would finally care and see my cry for help.

But waking up in the hospital I had gotten the depression, anxiety and pain pumped out of my stomach. But the thoughts still remained. And my mother did not care to change.

I said no more, {Russian roulette is the name of the game, I felt I needed to play} I Looked into a loaded gun and stopped shaking long enough to pull the trigger, nothing. I spun it again and was expecting a BIG BANG but looked down at the gun and the bullet was one click away.

3 strikes and I am not out ??

I Found God and people who care to help me regrouped all my doubts and fears.

I stopped feeling sorry for myself.

Now want others to look through my eyes and relate to my pain to see what I worked so hard to achieve.

I can look back now at whom I have become and be proud to be Ken Scobey.

A moving car did not take my life, all those pills did not stop my heart and that loaded gun was one click to late.

I thank god for this everyday!! This was not in Gods plan for me.

So here I stand strong asking you to learn from me and do the same.

Live for the day and do not take life or other peoples lives for granted.

People don't seem to care or miss someone till they are gone.

Believe in yourself and start caring about yourself and others.

Ask people this question and don't be scared. People need help and look for it in many different ways. The questions is this: Do you want to kill yourself and why?

By: Ken Scobey